Hello! It’s me.

So this was an interesting day.

We began in Albert Lea, Minnesota, and immediately “thundered” across the bottom of the state.

Before you knew it, we were in Dakota … South Dakota. An hour after arriving in Dakota … South Dakota, we checked out the greatest of all tourist attractions … the Corn Palace!

Seconds into our visit, I actively ignored the “corny” depiction of Elvis and was on the lookout for threats. For instance, what is this threat? Is it …

1. Real.
2. Perceived.
3. Rusted Metal.
4. Chupacabra.

Easy pickin’s, don’t you think?

But then I decided to desecrate this threat. Do you know what threat this is?

1. Real.
2. Perceived.
3. Rusted Metal.
4. Chupa”cob”ra.

Yes, that’s “Chupa’cob’ra”. And once you desecrate Chupacobra, you’re in for a world of hurt.

I tried to make nice with a big Chupacobra.

I thought things were fine. I let my guard down for just a moment …

That’s when Dad said, “I think that’s a storm off in the distance.”

Peering through the ample array of bug smearings, I quickly deduced that this was no ordinary storm … no it wasn’t … this was the WRATH OF CHUPACOBRA!

The “wrath” enveloped our vehicle.

There would be no escaping the WRATH OF CHUPACOBRA. Lightning, thunder, and sixty mile per hour cross-winds accompanied heavy rain. We were paying the price.

Because I piddled on a Chupacobra, the Chupacobra mercilessly piddled on thousands of travelers in Western South Dakota.

Our twenty minutes of terror at the hands of an angry Chupacobra finally ended, a thorough punishment for a minor desecration.

And then, the angry Chupacobra proved benevolent … providing a peace offering … a double rainbow.

The Chupacobra pronounced that she would never, ever, flood weary travelers again.

We finally snuck out of our rig, and surveyed the landscape.

We ended our unending descent into stormy punishment with a custard-based treat … I got to feast on a pup-cup.

My advice to you? Do not ever do anything to tick-off the fabled “Chupa’cob’ra”. She presents a serious threat that must be heeded, not tinkled upon.

Our day ended in Gillette, Wyoming. Yup, we left Southeast Wisconsin late Sunday afternoon, and are already in Wyoming as of Monday evening.

Our hostess at the LaQuinta in Gillette says that Gillette is the Energy Capital of the United States. She may be right. We were full of energy after a harrowing day in the Great Plains.

Hello. It’s me!

“Man, it’s a hot one,

like seven inches from the midday sun.”

At least that’s how Rob Thomas and Santana presented the situation to us at fifteen or more years ago. We experienced sweaty conditions in the Milwaukee area for three days. First, we watched my cousin play baseball. I looked all over for his appearance …

… and then, he waltzed up to the on-deck circle.

I don’t know what happened next … either I passed out from heat exhaustion or I got dizzy waiting for the sausage races that never happened.

Fortunately, Dad was able to hydrate.

That was Friday. Saturday, we left Dad’s brother & family … they would have to deal with the sultry conditions on their own.

Dad and I and Mom went our separate ways on Saturday. Mom attended the “BIG SHOW” in Downtown Milwaukee.

Air conditioning and Beads sounds like a good combination, but not quite as good as a 93 degree afternoon on the lakeshore in Milwaukee.

I worked my way toward the Marina where, as always, I evaluated threats. None on the way to the Marina.

A perceived threat here.

And nothing to see here.

From Milwaukee, we motored west toward Oconomowoc, where we attended a graduation weekend. First, we enjoyed a sunset along a lake, while Mom toured the lake in a boat.

Then on Sunday, we enjoyed a graduation party (well, I sat in a powerless rig, but that’s another story).

Late in the afternoon, now on the cool side of the warm front, we made the decision to head home. We made it to Albert Lea, Minnesota, named after the topographer Albert Miller Lea. Formerly a manufacturing town, Albert Lea is now host to the largest employer in the area, the Mayo Clinic (No, I don’t actually know these facts. I consulted Wikipedia (click here). What I do know is that, after crossing this country, the only growth industry my canine eyes observed was health care).

That’s what I know. We’re a handful of days away from being back in the Pacific Northwest. We left during cool conditions in mid-May. We’re enjoying the transition to summer with occasional sultry summer days in the Midwest. In my case, the trip has been exhausting, but enjoyable.

Hello. It’s me.

Yup, that’s me on the floor of a Super 8 Hotel, wondering what went wrong with our vacation?

In the next day or two, I will summarize the fun I’ve been having, and it is a lot of fun of course! But for now, it’s a different topic.

Imagine, if you will, that you are trying to hook up power. 15 amps should do. You connect to a post that has lights on it. When you connect, three things happen.

1. Two of the three lights on the post burn out.
2. A slight, disagreeable metallic smell emanates from the rig.
3. The power cord shows power, the rig shows power, nothing in the rig powers up.

#OhOh.

We diagnosed the problem.

Dad pulled out his multimeter. Dad called the RV dealership. And together, Dad and Dealer (aka DAD) figured out that the house-side of the transfer box was fried … voltage going in … no voltage going out.

No more electricity in the rig without a generator.

Hours later, as Mom and Dad wheeled into the Super 8, they decided that it was time to head home.

So one more afternoon of fun today, and then we head west.

Folks, there’s still a lot of adventure to be had. You don’t need electricity to have fun. Ask any person born before 1800 for examples. Mom said something about singing hymns at night. Dad asked the local Ace Hardware rep if they had any whale oil lanterns for sale. So we will be all right. You don’t need a single volt or amp or watt to power a chew toy.

HELLO! It’s ME!

Mahjong!

Ok, that’s not the right game, but it is more fun when you blurt out an obtuse word than not, right? At least it is for me.

Speaking of food, Dad continued his quest to consume three quarts of French Dressing before heading home. And with time growing short, he wasted no time draining an ample-sized container of Sweet French.

Meanwhile, with Dad away for a day on a work assignment, Mom joined the fray with two credible entries. First, a tasty burger at Mihm’s in Neenah.

And if that wasn’t enough … a day earlier, she enjoyed a fabled dessert beverage in these parts … the GRASSHOPPER!

But the best part of Dad being away for the day is this … PONY TIME!

You may remember that I became enthralled with my beloved Bailey a few days ago. Well, love is fleeting. It’s my perspective based on almost no months of experience, that if you cannot be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with. Today, I was with a mini-horse named Lady.

Dad required me to use the Seinfeld reference to THE PONY REMARK episode (click here) – something about enhancing the comedic impact of the post, but honestly, this is a miniature horse. And I fell IN LOVE with this little beauty (visit the website if you cannot see the video via email).

Did you see how she performed the dance of love, as I call it? My rump vibrating, oscillating, gravitating toward Lady. And Lady, full of class, strolling through her fenced-in environment, desperately hoping for an opportunity to meet-and-greet.

But it was not to be.

Lady was walked back to the barn, and yet another love interest went unfulfilled, vanquished by time and subsequent commitment.

I mourned the loss of another love interest at a local cemetery.

For now, I shall pursue the love of a stick. Sticks will always be there for me, right?

Mom drove the rig to a local quilt shop … I got to test run the air conditioner via propane generator, in anticipation of low-mid 90 degree temperatures over the next two days.

Twice So many times on this trip, I have been given the opportunity to love, and have lost. But each day brings a new adventure. It is entirely possible that I’ll be introduced to a new love interest tomorrow … or … I will encounter the mystical CHUPACABRA!

Hello. It’s ME!

So busy, pups. So, so busy. No time for updates. Plenty of time for friends, and the new love interest in my life.

So instead of giving you the “business” about how great my life is …

… I thought I might update you with a quiz that reflects some of the big events of the past few days.

Question #1: Is the threat pictured below:

• (A) Real.
• (B) Perceived.
• (C) Rusted Metal.
• (D) Chupacabra.

The answer is (B), Perceived. No need to fret about Super Heroes, is there?

Ok, next question. Did Grandma give me an entire bottle of soda to consume?

• (A) Yes.
• (B) No.

The answer is (B), no, she did not give me an entire bottle of soda to consume. I would have consumed it, to be honest, had it been offered. I played a lot of hide-and-seek with Grandma, and that was big-time fun! And there was this game called “spoons”, which I would have played if my legs were long enough.

Next question. The damage you see depicted here was caused by?

• (A) A rogue driver crashing into the tree.
• (B) A Severe Thunderstorm with straight-line winds approaching 60 miles per hour.

The answer is (B) … a brief and somewhat snappy little storm took down a tree at my Aunt & Uncle’s home. Because I was listening to Razor 94.7 with my cousin, I didn’t hear the storm warning.

Next question:  Which of the following meals did Dad enjoy the most.

(A) Culvers Butter Burger.

(B) Broasted Chicken from The Time Out with Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt and Cousin!

(C) Lates Perch Sandwich with Grandma & Grandpa.

(D) Home made Northwestern Steak House style Porterhouse with Greek-seasoned noodles with the love of my life.

(E) Pizza Time buffet with Grandma / Grandpa / Aunt / Cousin.

(F) All of the above!

The answer is an easy one … ALL OF THE ABOVE!!

Next question: This sign is famous because.

(A) This is the scene of the crime in the Netflix documentary “Making a Murderer”.

(B) The sign stayed upright during the great Severe Thunderstorm of Sunday night.

The answer is (A), of course.

Next question: The threat I am looking for in this picture is.

(A) Real.

(B) Perceived.

(C) Rusted Metal.

(D) Chupacabra.

The answer is easy. It’s (D), Chupacabra. It is very important to protect Grandma and Grandpa at all costs.

Final question. Which image best depicts the time I spent in Monroe?

(A) This image.

(B) This image.

(C) This image.

The answer is (B) … I was asking the patrons at Baumgartners if they had any Grey Poupon.

I tell you, I’ve had such a good time over the past few days.

We played games and had a campfire.

We even drove past Lambeau Field.

Today, I get to re-visit with Grandma & Grandpa (Mom’s side) … after a fun few days with Grandma & Grandpa (Dad’s side).

But with all beginnings come a sad end … I will end my time with my beloved Bailey.

Hello! It’s me.

A quick update, because things are really busy out here in travel-land.

We motored through Monroe, WI … our former home. I got to see the sights.

Yesterday, we attended a graduation party for my new friend, Josh. I spent ample time mingling with the crowd.

Josh has a fun family! Except for the brief gust front of a dying thunderstorm, a good time was had by all.

For the culinary reader among us, here’s a few snaps from the past few days.

This is a standard ham and cheddar sandwich at Baumgartner’s on the Square in Monroe.

Home made string cheese at Baumgartner’s.

This is the Friday Night Fish Fry (#lakeperch) at Quivey’s Grove.

And the classic Mushroom & Swiss, free courtesy of a coupon from my new friend Rob.

Mom also got to tour a handful of quilt shoppes along the way … welcome to downtown Sun Prairie.

Our tour of Wisconsin, which took us from Northwest Wisconsin to North-Central Wisconsin to Central Wisconsin to South-Central Wisconsin to South-Western Wisconsin to Southern Wisconsin back to South-Central Wisconsin now takes us to Northeast Wisconsin today. Hint – it’s the place where the documentary “Making a Murderer” was filmed.

Hello. It’s me!!

When Dad told me we were going “troll hunting” today, I had no idea how much fun I was going to have. That’s what you do in Mt. Horeb, Wisconsin. It’s the land of trolls. Gotta find ’em, friends!

We looked for trolls in the most logical of places … Cave of the Mounds. You go underground about seventy feet and are greeted will all sorts of stalagtites and stalagmites.

And while the scenery is interesting, the big question was this one.

• Are there any trolls in the Cave of the Mounds?

Turns out the answer is “no”. And no animals, either. Just dank 50 degree air and the brief moment when the tour guide shut off all the lights for about ten seconds and Dad nearly needed to find a new pair of underwear due to feelings of rampant terror. Geez. It’s dark out every night.

We searched the streets of Mt. Horeb for signs of trolls.

I was thorough in my investigation of the town.

There’s a lot of ground to cover.

And you can never be too sure that trolls aren’t hiding behind planters … or pickup trucks.

But then, it all became clear to me. I found what I thought was a troll (please visit the website if you cannot see the video via email).

Remember when I said that there are three types of threats?

1. Real.
2. Perceived.
3. Chupacabra.

There are now four types of threats.

1. Real.
2. Perceived.
3. Rusted Metal.
4. Chupacabra.

Please update your notes accordingly.

Mom and Dad enjoyed lunch at a local eatery. Dad ordered the Norwegian Meatballs … Mom ordered a variant of a BLT.

And off to the side, they noticed something.

No, it’s not Lefse or Phosphates, though who doesn’t enjoy a delicious Phosphate?

Let’s zoom in on the upper left portion of the image.

Trolls!!

The mystery was solved. We found trolls in Mt. Horeb! Our mission was complete.

With that behind us, we moved on to Dodgeville, where we spent the evening with our friends, Mike and Lisa.

Mmmmmmm … deep fried cheese curds!

Of course, I had to sit in the van while their cat, “Cookie”, supped unabashedly.

Tomorrow, we continue our journey. A good night of sleep should help me forget the terror of rusted metal. And we found trolls, so all in all, today was a huge success!

Hello – it’s me!

Dad awoke sorely disappointed that severe Thunderstorms never materialized last night. Instead, we were greeted by the idyllic back wash of a cold front.

We wrapped up our laundry & water pump and new bathroom faucet installation and rig cleaning  brief stay with Grandma and Grandpa today … but not before I chewed out a visitor. I find that I get protective of people I like, and if interlopers (regardless of how friendly they may be) get in the way, I’m gonna let them hear it. We’ll catch up with Grandma and Grandpa for a real visit next week. I hear there’s another Grandma and Grandpa on the docket this weekend. How many Grandmas and Grandpas are you allowed to have. Seventy-three?

Remember way back in North Dakota when Dad lost SiriusXM? Remember how we had to tolerate his dissatisfaction with the musical situation … for more than a thousand miles?

Well, today that all ended. Mom says “we’re going to a stereo installation place in Madison”. And I’m like:

Around closing time, we arrived.

A guy named Greg scritched my tummy … then identified a problem with the antenna.

Guess what?

We’ve got SiriusXM again! That’s the kind of solution that $39 of labor can buy a pup.

Dad says, “Let’s celebrate!”. Mom says, “How about a supper club?” Dad says “Roger that!”

Once again … the protocol is to order drinks (#crosssell), then sit in the bar and wait until somebody takes your order.

The place was hoppin’!

In Supper Club tradition, you are seated when the Relish Tray and Salads arrive at your table. I know, #classy.

That’s four pickle spears, two cinnamon buns, a Relish Tray, fourteen pads of butter, two buns, and eight pair of bread sticks … all included along with your salad (#frenchdressing) as part of your meal.

How do you avoid nomming that Relish Tray?

Of course, this is the opening salvo in a two-pronged dinner opportunity. Dad ordered delicious, nourishing Lake Perch, paired with french fries and a half-quart of tartar sauce. Yes, there is green on his plate (#andremembertherewasgreenontheRelishTray).

Mom took full advantage of the faux-cheese offering on the hash browns.

Two dinners, the Relish Tray, fourteen pads of butter, eight pairs of bread sticks, two cinnamon rolls, four pickle spears, a slice of faux cheese on the hash browns, a Miller High Life and a Southern Comfort Old Fashioned Sweet cost us (plus tax) … are you ready for this?

You can’t get a bowl of cioppino in the Pacific Northwest for $40.

Mom and Dad brought me back a sampling of the dinner rolls, making my 75 minute wait in the rig all the more worthwhile.

I thought we were done for the day, to be honest. But Dad says we’re going to Walgreens to get prescriptions filled, and then we’re going to Blue Mound State Park to spend the night, and I’m like …

So that’s our story for today … that’s how we rolled, folks. I hope Grandma feels better after surgery, and I hope Mom & Dad feel better after their 4,938 calorie experience at a Supper Club. Thank God there was a Relish Tray to provide heart-healthy options.

Hello! It’s me.

We’re taking a few days to do chores. Laundry. Purchasing Beer. Replacing a Water Pump. That kind of stuff. Grandpa helped install the replacement water pump, and you can rest assured that 3:00am toilet flushes are now met with the comforting drizzle of water being pumped out of the fresh water tank. #ourlongnationalnightmareisover

But before we performed a deep dive into boring tasks, we saw a couple of sights in Minocqua. First, it was the world’s largest penny. We used Google Maps to find the site. When we arrived, this is what we saw.

So the site of this big penny was at a museum, the museum was closed, and we had to go somewhere else to see the penny. Fine. We walked two blocks, and sure enough, there it was.

Soak it in, pups! It’s pure magic, don’t you think?

If your bill was $18.51, it would be hard to pass this thing to the convenience store clerk.

Next up was a stop to see Paul Bunyon and Babe the Blue Ox. Seems every town in the northlands has this or sold this off to a holding company in North Carolina.

I found Mr. Bunyon to be a bit of a brute … so I decided to do something a bit more enjoyable … I scaled Mt. BabeTheBlueOx.

I rode Babe for about eight seconds … credible stuff if I were competing in a rodeo.

From there, it was another mind-numbing drive along a four lane road. I needed oxygen, and I looked for it in all the wrong places.

In Wausau, we stopped for lunch at Rocky Rococo’s. First, Dad wanted to show you what a proper salad bar looks like – two choices of French Dressing – even a lite version for those you who, like me, care about your waistline.

Dad went with the Sausage and Pepperoni and Breadsticks.

When we got to Grandpa & Grandma’s, Mom & Dad fulfilled their chore quota while I aimlessly patrolled the local streets like a teen trying to avoid a patrol car.

And after throwing up all over the bed at 4:00am, I am off to a great start this morning. I hear Dad wants to visit a stereo shop so he can get his SiriusXM problem fixed. Vacations are a lot of fun when you infuse the excitement of a big penny with chores.

Hello. It’s ME!!

A day of food started with a breakfast-sized helping of sunrise.

I know this to be true, because I had to potty at 5:25am, so this is the prize for the early bird.

Several hours later, we were touring once again. We saw downtown Bayfield.

Then Mom picked up another coveted stamp.

This was about the time of the day when the theme switched from nature to nourishment.

You probably don’t know about an Upper Peninsula tradition known as the “Pasty”. These hand-held treats, converted to unseemly “Hot Pockets” by “The Man” or “Calzones” by George Costanza, are filled with meat and spuds and are wrapped in a delicious pie crust that is to die for. Or so Mom and Dad told me.

In order to enjoy a pasty, we had to cross over into Michigan.

Then we drove two blocks to Joe’s Pasty Shop.

They were closed …

… but WAIT … Lady Proprietor #2 unlocked the door. Dad explained that we drove 2,200 miles to eat a pasty, and then Lady Proprietor #2 welcomed Dad in and pulled two hot traditional pasties out of the pile she was taking home.

I’ll say this much … Dad is not a fan of spuds, so I got my fair share of Idaho’s finest. Pretty tasty! Nom nom nom nom nom nom.

When we were done, we drove two blocks back into Wisconsin.

Down US-51 we traveled to the tourist trap known as Minocqua. Based on a recommendation from Grandpa, we drove back out of Minocqua and progressed seventeen miles to St. Germain … where we visited what is called a “Supper Club”.

What is a “Supper Club”, you ask?

Well, you won’t get breakfast at a Supper Club. Or brunch. Or lunch. You get to indulge in “Supper”. You won’t leave disappointed.

Let’s start with the basics. We ate at McGregor’s Blink Bonnie. When you walk up to the front door, you know immediately that you are in for the experience of a lifetime.

Here’s how the “scheme” works. You put your name in, much like you would at Olive Garden (copy cats), then you are required to sit down at the bar and enjoy beverages. In marketing, this is called the “cross-sell”, and based on what happened to Mom & Dad, the cross-sell worked.

You know, that camera angle makes Dad’s left hand look like massive, unusable appendage, don’t you think?

Mom ordered a Brandy Old Fashioned Sweet. We were told that they sell 300 variants of that drink per night … at just $5 a pop, you can see why (#math).

See the wine bottles behind the bar? They need a lot of those, too, when you consider what a $5 serving of wine looks like:

The decor in the bar is top-flight, no doubt about it.

Once you enjoyed the opportunity to consume a beverage, you are invited into the dining room. The place settings are right out of an episode of Downton Abbey.

You have plenty of choices … but you are encouraged to enjoy a Filet or a Ribeye. Guess who enjoyed the Ribeye?

Our server was stunned to learn that French Dressing is not a restaurant option for a typical Pacific Northwest starter-salad. Stunned. She repeatedly re-visited the table, inquiring about the mysteries of replacing French Dressing on a salad with various balsamics. Dad says the poor server was dumbfounded, flummoxed, maybe even dazed. At times, she appeared to be close to passing out. Ok, I made the passing-out part up. I wasn’t even there.

Dad let me sup on a half-dozen tiny cutlets of ribeye. I must say, I love every aspect of a supper club if it means I get to enjoy a half-dozen tiny cutlets of ribeye after every visit!

No drinks for me, however.

After dinner (you have to get there before 5:30pm, by the way, or it’s sheer chaos as the place really fills up), we drove to a hotel in Minocqua; I co-piloted the vehicle (visit the website if you cannot see the video).

We checked in to our hotel (#dogfriendly), and then Dad took me on a 45 minute walk through town. I decided to engage with a terrapin.

But the whole process of engaging with a terrapin is rather empty … I’m a fast paced boy (#dash) and she was, well, a terrapin, barely moving at all. In fact, it looked like she was laying eggs.

So we went back to the hotel and Dad pulled out a big ‘ole bag of chewies.

A day of food left me stuffed … I collapsed under the weight of my own inertia.

Wisconsin is a lot like an endless buffet of 3,500 calorie options. Anybody could enjoy a day of food. From what I saw today, some people (#dad) have enjoyed a lifetime of food. Is it any wonder I needed a 45 minute walk to burn off the calories?

Ready for this? Tomorrow, I may be introduced to my first-ever Thunderstorm. Not the puny 10,000 foot types that populate the Pacific Northwest a half-dozen times a year. Nope. We’re talking the 50,000 foot variety that may turn severe. Oooooooohhhhhhhh boy.