Double Duty

Hello, it’s me!


I’m pullin’ double duty today.

First, I’m busy surveying storm damage from last night’s haboob / thunderstorm. More on that in a moment.

My main job today is taking care of Mom, who had gall bladder surgery this morning.


I’m busy nursing her back into being an active member of the human race … which isn’t easy after Mom’s been pumped full of a truckload of narcotics, #amirite? But she’s improving this afternoon as she begins to heal, and I’m angry as h*ck that I can’t sit on her lap.

The rest of the day has been spent surveying storm damage.


It all started when the weather person on TV told us we were all going to die unless we stayed indoors …


I told Dad I wanted to see what was going to happen for myself. He showed me what was happening out the window.


Then I REALLY wanted to see what was happening!


Yeah, I’m about to pull a full 180 maneuver here because this is what I saw next:


Needless to say, my over-sized frame really ate up the ground between the street and our driveway … we were safe, we didn’t die, and I’m here to pull double-duty today. Not a bad way to spend a random Tuesday in July. And with more storms on the horizon this afternoon, this storm chasing job could lead to full-time employment!

How Long?

Hello. It’s me!


Well, it certainly has warmed up around here.



Oh look, it is supposed to cool off all the way to 98 degrees by Midnight … how refreshing, #amirite?

So I asked Dad a few questions about when the weather is expected to improve.


Nothing To Do

Hello. It’s me!


Well, I’m no longer trapped in a tin can, driving 6,200 miles in 33 days. Our typical Summer trip historically spanned about 5,000 miles, so we really tacked-on the distance for this trip. But now I have nothing to do. I think it is more fun to have nothing to do while riding in a tin can.

And lemme tell ya, on the final day of the trip, we traversed the most desolate area of our Country imaginable. The locals call it “US-160”.


Dash_01279Dash_01280Dash_01281 - Copy

I’m told that the worker with the stop sign drives 133 miles each way to work each day.

Heck, I began to yearn for the good ‘ole times when we’d stop for diesel.


Mom spent a bit of time at Mesa Verde … next time, if we ever take that God-Forsaken US-160 again, Mom wants to actually go visit the cliff dwellings. In lieu of that on this trip, she was banned to the Visitor’s Center.


Speaking of banned, we arrived at the FOUR CORNERS … the place where Arizona, Utah, New Mexico, and Colorado all meet at one point. I wasn’t allowed in (#again). I was not aware how “pet-ist” our country truly is.


We’re told to love our neighbors and to love our enemies, so if somebody wants to keep me out, I’ll send ’em love, #amirite?

That’s our trip, right there, in a nutshell. Thirty-three days away from home. Dear family, dear friends, and an orgy of food enjoyed by Mom and Dad. Dad said he lost 4 pounds on the trip, so take THAT Mediterranean Diet purveyors!

Mom and Dad were so happy with the performance of the RV that they promised me there would be new adventures in the short-term. And that’s a good thing, because it was 111 degrees on Friday and 109 degrees yesterday. Today it was a chilly 103 degrees, cool enough that I could even spend a lot of time outside this morning. For the rest of the day, I really had nothing to do. I’m looking forward to the next trip, truly I am.

Thank you for following along for the past five weeks. It was a wild “ride”, was it not?


End of the Line

Hello. It’s me.


We’re home. And honestly, I’m not terribly happy. It was 109 degrees when we landed and I didn’t find my neighbor, the lovable “Ligen” who lives next door.


No more journeys. No more odd campgrounds. No more 300 mile boredom-fests across an unforgiving desert landscape with temperatures well over 100 degrees. No more following “wide loads” on two-lane highways for 40 miles at 40mph, #amirite?

I’ll update you about the final day of our trip and provide a general overview of the most enjoyable trip of my life in a few days. Until then, just look at the napkins at a chain-style eatery in the middle of the desert …


We Go To The 9th …

Hello. It’s me!


Baseball is played in nine innings … sometimes more if the score is tied after nine. But there are games where the home team is in total command … leading 11-3 or 7-0 … and the TV announcer says “We Go To The 9th” … and s/he says it with an attitude like “CAN WE JUST GET THREE OUTS AND GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE?”

Our trip heads to the 9th inning, and we’re ahead something like 33-2. Oh sure, the evil doers tried to muck up the trip by tying the game at 2-2 by harming our air conditioner, but ever since then we routed the competition and it wasn’t even close.

So we entered the 9th inning today by enjoying a couple of hours at a NEW NATIONAL PARK.


This place had it all … SAND!



Yes, those are PEOPLE walking out to the giant dunes … just to give you some perspective on what’s goin’ on there.

When we got to the dunes, I asked around … “What’s it like out there?”


Chet here tells me that it was “sandy” out there.

Thanks. Chet.

Once again, I wasn’t allowed to enter the Visitors Center. Chet wasn’t allowed in either.


Dad says, “Why don’t we just go back to the RV and I channeled my inner Amy Winehouse saying “NO, NO, NO”.


So I waited for Mom to come out.


Moments later, we were off to the dunes. Oh, the excitement, the anticipation … and then … “THE HEAT, THE HEAT, IT’S TOO HOT ON MY PADS, #OMFG (oh my furry God) MY PADS ARE BURNING, I’M OUT, GET ME OUT OF HERE, GET ME OUT OF HERE, SHADE, SHADE!”


So that was that. Forty steps (ten per foot) and I was outta there, #amirite?

I sat in the RV for an hour while Mom and Dad enjoyed lunch and discussed some of the odd sightings at the National Park.



Then we got in the rig and decided to cross the Continental Divide. I kept my thoughts to myself.


Why keep my thoughts to myself? Well, I’m not a fan of ups and downs, lefts and rights, and bumpy roads. I like a well-manicured Interstate Highway, thank you very much. But Mom said the only way we¬†were getting home from where we were was US-160 through Southern Colorado. Turns out it was a scenic route.


We didn’t tip over, FYI.




We continued on that road down the hill on the left …


We landed tonight, outside of Durango, CO … Dad picked a KOA where they promised him a good start to the day tomorrow (and a hand-delivered pizza after we arrived).


Dad will need a good start to the day tomorrow. We’ve got one out in the 9th inning, and we’re just 440 miles from closing out a big win. If all goes well, we’ll be home tomorrow evening, where I’m told that temperatures are hovering around 110 degrees. Sounds lovely!