Hello! It’s me.

Mom and Dad have been all-a-flutter about their trip to the Czech Republic last week. Yap yap yap, like they had the greatest time ever all because they left me behind so they could travel 6,000 miles across the globe.

They liked eating breakfast at the hotel.

And I thought to myself, “well, that looks really good”. Then they kept yapping about breakfast.

I told Mom that I enjoyed my meals while Mom was away.

But then Dad tells me he had goulash soup.

By this time, I’m just getting sick and tired of the whole story.

Of course, it doesn’t end there. Apparently this creepy guy invited Dad in to enjoy deep-fried cheese.

Then this lady asked Dad to partake in Schnitzel.

I said, “Did you see any sights?” Dad shows me this …

Not a chupacabra … but one must be on edge at all times, I suppose.

So I rephrased the question. Any pup-related content over there in Prague?

Wow.

Based on that sign, it’s any wonder this pup was “holding it in”.

Then Dad gets back on the food train …

Bored silly, I just kinda tune out, to be honest.

It never seemed to end … the food … and the stories about food.

And the beverages … apparently Dad imbibed a bit.

Exhausted, I demanded that Dad show me a few images of Prague. Apparently, Mom and Dad did more than just eat food.

Do any of you have friends who brag about their trips? They show picture after picture, boring as heck, with no context surrounding the images other than “We had the best time ever, the BEST!” And all you can think is “ENOUGH ALREADY”? Well, that’s what my state of mind was until Dad showed me this …

OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH … rusted metals from the Czech Republic … ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh.

Now this trip sounds INTERESTING for once!

So I opened up a bit about my end of the bargain … hanging with Carol and Grandma!

And Dad showed me the convention hall he gave his talk in.

I’m glad Mom and Dad are home. Things are back to normal, my friends. They finally stopped talking about Prague and finally started talking about me.

Hello! It’s me.

I’ve got no idea what is going on. Mom and Dad are somehow able to write blog posts on an airplane on an iPhone, Grandma and Carol are thoroughly entertaining me, and the press is telling me that the worst windstorm in history was nothing more than a teeny puff but the storm that came on Friday was never supposed to happen and yet spawned tornadoes and more severe weather alerts than in the past 21 years combined.

Whaaaaaaat?

It is like a witch rode in on a broom and turned everything upside down!

As long as the witch keeps the kibble coming, I am amenable … so long as the witch isn’t truly a CHUPACABRA!!!

Hello! It’s me.

I have to say, at eleven months of age I’ve had a lifetime of experience. And I’ve never experienced anything like this Presidential Election.

From what I understand, we have a choice … here’s the choice.

I’ve been told that the next campaign for President begins on 1/1/2017, so at least we’ll have a breather after this extended exploration of our less-than-best selves.

It’s my point of view that canines don’t exhibit the kind of behavior that wannabe global leaders exhibit, with two notable exceptions.

1. Some candidates and some canines do not pay taxes.
2. Some candidates and some canines haven’t got a clue about proper use of email servers.

I wanted to go out into the world and prove that we can place our hope in the Canine.

Let’s just say things didn’t start off on the right foot.

Yup, that’s twelve pounds of punditry lettin’ me have it for no good reason whatsoever.

CHILL, DUDE!

Other pups were downright aloof.

I waited for this pup to absorb my soulful countenance … nothing.

Suddenly, I found myself chasing magenta-colored commerce. I put my faith in gifts to fill the ever-growing hole in my heart.

The public stared at me. I sensed they were judging my need to prove that Love ruled the world.

#ClickItOrTicket

But commerce, that soulless siren designed to enrich a few while offering the security of a generous minimum wage for many … well, commerce led me to this.

The carrion symbol of death wasn’t far behind.

With quad legs a-tremble, I searched for Love in a scorched wasteland of “gotcha” infused political moments. Would I find my beloved Wendy? Or would I find Frank from Men in Black?

Turns out Love exists, if only you look for it in the comforting glaze of a pug featured in a movie about the potential destruction of our planet by an unfathomable alien force.

Let’s be honest, my pups. Neither Presidential candidate is going to destroy the planet #somebodypleasevalidatethishypothesisforme. Somewhere, there are (Wo)Men in Black working behind the scenes to protect us from potential catastrophe.

Armed with this knowledge, I sleep well at night. I hope you do too.