Hello! It’s me.

Somedays you tear up a stuffed animal … somedays you admire clouds that look like stuffing from a stuffed animal.

Somedays you need a bit of humor – like this one from Grandma.

But the big news happens on March 11!!

That’s right … you can support me in my first big race, and your support helps Greyhounds in Arizona and Happy Tails Doxie Rescue! Here’s a link to all of the excitement.

Let’s put something on the table right now … I have no idea what a race even is! But on the morning of March 11, I’m told that I will be “racing” against other 0-18 month doxies. Dad thinks I’ll just stand there and stare at everybody, and I may well do just that because again, I have no idea what a “race” is. But if I survive the “heat races”, whatever those are, I could earn a coveted championship in the main event.

Regardless, you can click the link above to support Arizona Greyhounds and Happy Tails Doxie Rescue.

Hello! It’s me.

Gramps sends along an appalling incursion from the enemy.

Brands, you don’t want to normalize this behavior (but click here if you want to purchase a bottle).

The text says “despite all precautions, you do buy at your own risk.” Well, they’ve got that right.

Friends, this is how the enemy gets to you. Pretty soon you are sitting in your easy chair eating a Chalupacabra and sippin’ an unholy version of communion wine. Next thing you know you’ve got a Chupacabra as a house pet (named Paca). You’re screaming at Paca to stop throwing remote controls through triple pane windows. All these things happen when you normalize the enemy. Trust me.

Hello. It’s me!!

Is there anything better than a partly cloudy day?

Now, partly cloudy comes with conditions. Partly cloudy and 42 degrees when the normal high is 60 isn’t great. But partly cloudy and 76 when the normal high is 70, well, that’s a whole ‘nuther thing.

I like to start a partly cloudy day by grabbing a towel to adorn the artificial turf with.

Getting “the right” towel is a bit of a process. I’ll sample varieties until I get the specific towel that matches the mood of the day.

Then it is a matter of getting comfortable.

Eventually, I arrive at a point of what I call “blanket equilibrium”.

But once “partly cloudy” becomes “sunny” I abandon all blankets and instead focus on absorbing as much of “El Sol” as I can … usually with a toy in tow.

Then “partly cloudy” returns and it’s time to hit the road for some fun.

With the breeze blowing, I am always hopeful we are going somewhere interesting.

Sometimes we arrive at an interesting place.

And sometimes we arrive at the vet … #ugh.

The nice thing about a “partly cloudy” day is that anything is possible … even the potential of finding the elusive “Wendy” … or a food truck in the worst case.

Hello! It’s me!!

These are the “salad days, as they say” (click here). Well, if the phrase is good enough for the Cohen Brothers classic (Raising Arizona) from the late 1980s, then the phrase is good enough for me.

You’ll be happy to know I visited the vet today. I immediately began searching for a way out.

Mom wasn’t having any of it. I listened while she prepped me for shots.

And then I considered abandoning the appointment anew.

The best part of the appointment? Two things.

• My dislocating rear knees aren’t as bad as previously thought – though they were “a-poppin'” during the exam, I don’t have any of the limping problems I was having last fall. In fact, the vet told me to “get more exercise”. There’s nothing wrong with chuggin’ through the neighborhood on a crisp 50 degree morning, #amirite?
• I lost another 0.6 pounds, and am down 0.8 pounds since Christmas. I’m a lean, mean, snugglin’ machine.

With a vet visit behind me, it’s time for a little bit of True or False?

True or False … I’m losing weight because my friends are serving me drill bits instead of food.

True or False … I get a 1/3rd vote on all matters concerning a possible new backyard “Casita”?

True or False … Cupcakes are an integral part of any credible weight-loss plan.

True or False … Happy Hour leads to Sleepy Hour.

True or False … I have the upper hand in this situation at the dog park, based on the position of my right rear leg …

True or False … I could puncture the plastic container with my incisors in under eight seconds and guzzle an entire gallon of thirst-quenching ice water on a hot day.