Hello. It’s me!

The week started with a scratchy butt and ended with a tickling tummy.

Dad took me to the vet twice because I spent the better part of a day spinning on my butt like a top, trying to reach it with my mouth in an effort to quell what was likely an itchy hind quarters. It appears I am allergic to something, maybe all of the pollinating plants and cacti in the neighborhood. It was nothing that three Benadryl a day couldn’t sooth, #amirite?

That’s where the good news ended.

You’d think that a one pound weight loss over the past six weeks would please the powers that be, but you’d be wrong. My vet, who ably probed my rear end inside and out (and I mean that quite literally) said that I need to lose a few more pounds. And while I’m not a fan of this …

… I’m even less a fan of one can of calorie-controlled slop coupled with two pieces of turkey jerky and a dozen blueberries a day. 386 calories a day. That’s it.

That’s not living.

So when the UPS driver arrived at 4:30pm today I evaded Mom’s restrictive arms, bolted for the delivery truck, and begged the driver for a snack. The driver delivered!

There’s fifty calories that nobody is getting back … wait, did I hear Dad say he’s cutting back my dinner because of the bonus bone?

Really?

Seriously?

Seriously?

There are five threats that I now monitor.

• Real
• Perceived
• Rusted Metals
• Chupacabra
• Lack of Food.

Hello. It’s me!

That was taken a few days ago, when it was warm and calm.

Today was hot and breezy … mid 90s and with bombogenesis in the air (i.e. tomorrow’s Great Plains and Upper Midwest blizzard). Desert winds howled across our flat terrain. It was something to behold … as long as you were indoors.

Now, I don’t want any photo evidence of the event, but lemme tell you, I tried to perform my outside duties in a west to east fashion this evening, and the results were highly unsatisfactory! This potent blower stuffed super-heated forty mile per hour winds in the general direction of my hind quarters. I thought only politicians knew what it felt like to have hot air in that general area, but now I know different, #amirite?

Regardless, the jet stream jettisoned us a sampling of pleasant parting shots late this afternoon.

Our ten week parade of guests ended on Sunday. Recent days have me lying by the Casita, hoping for somebody to emerge.

When the winds calm down, Mom and Dad tell me they’re going to play more pickleball. And while I’m supportive of their endeavors, sometimes I feel like I’m not the only one lamenting their decision.

That being said, I’d prefer they abandon me for pickleball than have them force me to walk during a potent blower.