Where, Oh Where Can It Be?

Hello! It’s me!

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It’s bad enough my daily dining opportunities have been cut by about 50% causing me to drink 2x as much water as normal to keep my belly full (and causing me to have to go outside to potty 4x as much to keep my bladder empty, #amirite) … but look at what is hiding behind that black container that I’d like to get my teeth on … a sweet, succulent veggie bone … yes, I’m now at the stage where I’m craving veggie bones.

These are challenging times …

Meteorology, Mesh, Menu

Hello! It’s me.

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Sometimes the veggie bone is on the menu (Sunday and Wednesday). These days, my diet offers me microwaved peas. As long as they’re warm, I’ll eat ’em. I don’t have to like ’em, but I’ll eat ’em.

Dad had hernia surgery this morning. He had separated tissues sewn together coupled with a fancy new mesh. Everything turned out just fine. However, the surgeon rejected my kind offering of surgical assistance via an ample supply of tools.

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Apparently you can’t fix a hernia with a crescent wrench. Who knew?

The featured event of the day was meteorological in nature (see the word play evident there … see what I did … see it … see it?). The remnants of Hurricane Rosa blew through The Valley today. We had more than 2.5 inches of rain at our house (Dad measured the depth of the pool vs. the normal depth as defined by a calcium ring around the pool … not scientific, but not bad for a surgery-addled mind), nearly enough to fill our pool (visit the website to watch the video).

Somebody should have brought the ottomans in, Dad.

My friend Amy sent me this picture, taken as the remnants of the hurricane moved off toward Kansas. I’ve been told that somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly.

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All I know is that bluebirds aren’t forced to eat microwave-heated peas, #amirite?

When September Ends

Hello. It’s me!!

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That’s me at the vet. Needless to say I wasn’t thrilled with the examination. Why is everybody fascinated with placing their hands on my neck?

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Did she fix my bum? Absolutely. Did she put me on a diet? Yes. Said I was overweight. I guess I can’t eat any of these anymore.

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We all deserve a little deep-fried pork fat in our lives, #amirite?

The vet says I could keep up with Frank if I were lighter. She said I’d have a better chance of getting to Dad’s leg first so that Dad isn’t spending quality time with Frank.

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She says if I moved my body and didn’t take public transportation I’d be more fit. I’d like to remind her that it has been 105 degrees or warmer for the past four months.

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She says I need to incorporate more fruit into my diet.

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September is ending … and next week the remnants of Hurricane Rosa will push summer out the door, ushering in temperatures that are at least 15 degrees cooler than they have been. I’m hopeful that when September ends the body shaming ends with it, because I’m hungry!!!

Boot Scootin’ Boogie

Hello. It’s me!

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It’s late Summer now, which means it is football season in my household, #amirite?

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During the games, Mom and Dad enjoy a beverage or two. Sometimes I get to share a frosty beverage with Mom.

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Unfortunately, I’ve had a “swollen bum” the past few days, causing me to scoot my bum across the floor. So I’m headed to the vet tomorrow … my appointment is scheduled so that it doesn’t interfere with Monday Night Football tomorrow, so that’s good, but I’m not interested in going to the vet. So I’m throwing the challenge flag!

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Creepy Crawlers

Hello – it’s me!!

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As we transition to Fall, our yard is inundated with what I call “creepy crawlers”.

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I don’t know about you, but I find the veritable buffet of nature that consumes our fake front lawn a bit disconcerting, #amirite?

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Frank

Hello. It’s me!!

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That’s my friend Frank … he spent the weekend with me. And what a weekend it was. He got in 11,000 steps, I got in 1,100 steps. He ate 22 crunchables, I ate 2 crunchables. He pummeled me. I slept for an entire day after he left. His visit led to a discussion with Dad.

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