Friends – And Naps – And Threats!

Hello …. it’s ME!!

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Lemon the cute bird knows how to pose like a pup, #amirite?

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Lemon is just one of a veritable plethora of friends I’ve made over the past few weeks. I mean, life is like a bowl of kibble, you never know what you’re gonna get. Like this wee-little one.

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I’m more than happy to be friends with tiny critters … if it weren’t for the fact that this tiny one encased herself in protective glass, I’d gently wedge the youngster into my mouth and take him/her to my backyard for an afternoon of pitch-and-catch.

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Speaking of kibble, sometimes you just get so exhausted from building friendships that you fall asleep face first in a plastic sandwich bag of tasty bits.

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Eventually a lack of oxygen jolts your central nervous system into action, and once again you are on the lookout for threats.

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That’s a big dog!

Smaller dogs are more my speed.

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And then, off in the distance, you notice a genuine threat.

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I hear those crazy coyotes all the time … eagerly gorging themselves on an endless array of neighborhood rabbits. Don’t they realize that each time they eat a rabbit there is less rabbit poop to consume for pups like me?

So I’m not friends with coyotes, no way, no how. When I hear ’em off in the distance, I utter a loud bark that sounds something like “RIH” … just letting ’em know that the boss has an eye on them.

Look for too many coyotes and you wear out … again.

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But eventually the alarm clock goes off, and it’s back to manning my post.

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Did I mention that I when I’m not assessing threats I get to play cards with my dearest friends?

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I know, I know, it’s a lot of work being me! But I have it good compared to those hard-working German pups.

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That image is thanks to my Wisconsin friend Kate – and it makes logical sense when you stop and think about it.

Sunset is Chupacabra time. I like to make sure I have six-foot tall walls on all sides for added protection.

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Sitting around the campfire, I fall asleep again – sleep provides an opportunity to use lucid dreaming to simulate my ongoing battle with real and perceived threats.

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I dream about how I’d react if I saw THIS on my golf cart.

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Yeesh! Those things make you want to crawl out of your skin. They’re not real, but in a world where you have to identify real and perceived threats, it doesn’t matter does it? A perceived threat represents and outstanding opportunity to increase what I like to call my “threat rep count” or “TRC”. Eventually I’ll respond to threats with muscle memory, seamlessly moving from one situation to another, vanquishing the opposition.

Then it’s on to a quick pickleball match.

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Yes, I get it … you are supposed to paddle the ball back and forth on a regulation-sized court. But it’s more fun to BITE the ball, to try to crack it in half. The version of the game I prefer to play is great because you can’t lose – you are always aiming to set a personal best.

A life of friends, naps, and threats … it’s a real thrill ride! I anxiously await the next adventure, one right around the corner or up on the counter.

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And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to simulate another series of threat-based reps via lucid dreams. The threats always end the same way – with me enjoying my many friends both here and far away.

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4 thoughts on “Friends – And Naps – And Threats!

  1. My granny Mitzi (God rest her soul) once got reprimanded by a clerk at the pet store for barking at the mice – mom was so embarrassed they left in a hurry. They don’t take me to visit those little caged wonders for that very reason. And the coyote! So scary. Around here, mom just takes out the rifle and sends one over their heads. They run like a bunch of little girls. LOL

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  2. Hummmmahhhhhhhwellllllerhhhhh.
    I went from being envious of the sun to remembering why I did. It want to be in the desert when I saw the golf cart image…yes, most definitely some deep psychological issue that makes me want to scream and climb the closet, tallest, stool or chair around. Nope…just could not do it.

    That being screeched …the rest of your sunny adventures look inviting! We all miss all of you❤

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  3. Ah! the fun never ends does it? Have you encountered the wild pigs yet? My friends in Green Valley have those dudes charge through their neighborhood once a day. They smell horrible and eat all the plants. Run to mom and dad as fast as you can if you see them.
    Your days seem to be filled with adventure–new friends–sun and treats. Aren’t you lucky???
    Here we have–well–BIG snowflakes on Monday–3 inches of snow–lightening hitting the Space Needle in Seattle–then the next day it was 41 degrees. Sheesh! What is the world coming to????
    We miss you Dash ( well–you mom and dad too). The screams have become mostly whimpers about the 1876 project. Life chugs on–grateful for every day. Take care dude. Auntie Janet

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  4. Yo Dash,

    Here’s one more threat to watch out for in that Senior Citizen Community called ‘Pebble Creek” that you live in. “PICKLEBALL”!!!! Those oldsters are pretty fast at grabbing your favorite toy ball and beating the snot out of it with a little paddle over a net. Brrrr! Very chilling activity. Just don’t try playing fetch and retrieve your ball with THOSE G’Pas & G’Mas. You’ll never ever see your toy ball again.

    Happy Trails……………..

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