Best Practices For Insect Inspection

Hello! It’s me!!

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Dad says, “Hey buddy, there’s a fly over by the deck door!”

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Boy (visit the website if you cannot see the video).

There are a handful of Best Practices we all need to follow when probing an insect.

First, make sure you approach in a crouching position.

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“Low and Slow” is how I like to make my move. The last thing you want to tell a fly is “Hey, Dude, please sit there while I crush your exoskeleton with my paw” It’s been my experience that flies do not appreciate being told of their imminent demise – heck, I’ve seen them fly away when approached inappropriately, like they want to actually get away from you. That’s not fun for anybody. So be sure to sneak up on the insect.

Second, I like to tease the insect. I playfully bat the fly with my right front paw, maybe a half-dozen times. I do this to stun the winged warrior. Yes, occasionally this playful batting motion causes damage … crushed legs, wrecked wings, that kind of thing. That’s all part of the game, and they’ll always be another fly on the horizon, so don’t let it get you down if you cause damage. But the longer you prolong the inevitable, the more fun you get to have.

Third, move in to “retire” the insect. Once the insect has been subdued, forcefully crunch the insect with your teeth. By this time, you have been unable to protect the sensitive insect exoskeleton, severely damaging the frame during “playtime”, so put the little critter out of her misery. In fact, go ahead and eat the insect, if you so desire. Insects are a fantastic source of protein.

This is where “the feelz” kick in.

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There’s a certain melancholy that kicks in once the victim descends into your fundus.

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So my fourth and final Best Practice is this … CHEER UP! Don’t let the “termination” of the event get you down. Be vigilant. Always be vigilant. There may well be another insect hiding around the corner. And if there is, the insect may well provide the medicine that soothes the savage soul of a pup looking for something to do.

 

2 thoughts on “Best Practices For Insect Inspection

  1. Yo Dash,

    Protein eh? Well, since you seem to only survive on mozzarella sticks (RE: yesterdays post),
    a good bug or two may be just what you need to keep your coat shiny. Perhaps your folks might scare up a delicious roach or such to placate your otherwise curds & whey based diet.

    Chow down!

    Like

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