Hello! It’s me!
There are threats.
- Rusted Metal.
Last week I was visiting friends … Mom says “Is the cat in the house?” Friend says “yes”. I enter the back yard, and this cat (which I swear is actually a chupacabra, #amirite?) puts my head and neck in a vice grip unlike any I’ve ever experienced. As I began to pass out from asphyxiation, Dad kept trying to pull on my leash. This only served to accelerate the slow death I was experiencing.
When the cat/chupacabra finally relented and decided to partake in other activities, I screamed a bunch of obscenities, loudly if I may be so bold.
I was comforted by Mom.
I’m not a fan of the pseudo-chupacabra.
P.S.: Look at what the chupacabra did to our plants in the front yard.
Wow! What kind of cat was that??? A MEGACAT??? A mechanical kind of cat–hmmm—with lots of rusted metal and wheels??? . Were you where you shouldn’t have been? Sad about the front yard–I guess not though if you like wood chips or pebbles. Me?? I love nice green trees.
Hang in there Dash. I am glad mom and dad are taking care of you. When are you leaving on a big RV trip??? Auntie Janet
Dash…you just have not met the right cat yet! #amirite?? Cat’s would not be bothered with yard work…must have been another kind of varmint. Love to you and your folks…🌞
Headlock eh? You sure this little puddy tat wasn’t the fabled Wendy in disguise? You might’ve just missed a great opportunity to make a friend for life.
Oh, as to the landscape caper, don’t perennial grasses get mowed down in the spring?
Better check with the Spanish landscaping fellows #amirite.
oh Dash, I am so sorry. I hope this is the end of your bad luck this winter.
The “cat” is sorry for attaching himself on to your head, but he just couldn’t help it. It was too tempting. He promises to be a better host next time!