Hello.

It’s me.

I don’t know about you, but I spend an awful lot of time trying to be a loyal companion. It’s not like I can drive to Safeway, or the gas station, or even the Arizona Lung, Sleep and Valley Fever Institute. I’m here, and I’m loyal.

In return, I ask for a bit of reciprocity.

Instead Mom and Dad have been enjoying an active lifestyle. Maybe it was a decade of being trapped on an island, I don’t know, but lately they’re sampling all that life has to offer.

Take last night, for instance. They spent the whole night at a P!nk Concert in Glendale.

Apparently Pink (who spells her name with an exclamation point … P!nk … must have flunked third grade, darn charter schools) is some sort of singer with an 18 year catalog of pop hits coupled with an innate ability to perform Vegas-style gymnastics four stories above the ground.

Meanwhile I sit at home.

Boring and unfair.

And when they are at home, Mom and Dad are busy. Dad spent tonight making pizza sauce for his new pizza oven. Am I part of the story? Hint – I’m not included … I’m relegated to a blueberry diet.

Then Dad spent the afternoon messing with the RV batteries – looks like the place where they bought the batteries nuked the new batteries and caused a whole bunch of issues that caused the neighborhood to have a smelly metallic odor. Lemme tell you pups, neighbors don’t like a smelly metallic odor, #amirite?

All I ask is for food, drink, potty & waste breaks. And undying love and company. That’s all. Instead I get an existence where I’m only paid attention to something like thirteen or fourteen hours a day.