Hello! It’s me!!!!!!!

Usain Bolt is one of the greatest sprinters of all time. Maybe THE greatest. Watch him in lane 4, pups (click to the website if you care and cannot see the video below).

My goodness. That’s a lot of raw athleticism for your dollar, #amirite?

Today, I was granted the rare opportunity to emulate the fastest man on the planet. And your generous funding will enable countless pups to find good homes. That’s a winning combination!!

We arrived at Wiener Mania under blue skies and a forecasted high temperature of just 90 degrees. When I say “we”, I am of course talking about the 200+ doxies who sprinted to the finish line in today’s races.

I was in the 8th heat for juveniles (pups under a year-and-a-half). That gave me time to soak up the sights and sounds. I met this pup minutes after arriving … and I had to ask myself, “What In The Name Of All That Is Holy Is Going On Here?”

Then one of these guys accused me of not being a pure-breed doxie … suggesting that I was “crossed” with another breed in “Europe”. Oh, I was “cross” all right!

This pup told me that they were selling hot dogs for $2 at the concession stand and that my Grandpa was in line awaiting a nourishing delight.

Now back in the day, I was as athletic as the next pup. Do you remember this gem from more than a year ago? (visit the website if you cannot see the video via email).

Today, I launched a new chapter in my quest to climb Maslow’s Hierarchy of Athletic Prowess.

In some ways, this event was a lot like the Kentucky Derby – the outfits – the fashion – oh my. Heck, I wondered aloud what skeletons this one had in his closet?

I walked over to the paddock after the 6th heat. I was outfitted for the race!

To be honest, I should have carb-loaded this morning. Desperate for bonus energy, I searched for goodies.

Denied.

I wasn’t suffering from a Bog Spavin (those of you in the horse industry know what I’m talking about), so even without supplemental protein I felt ready to go, ready to break my maiden.

It was post time!

The crowd – buzzing with energy, awaited my placement at the gate.

Dad placed me into Gate #3.

Tension.

Heart pounding.

The crowd … feverish with anticipation.

AND THEY’RE OFF (visit the website if you cannot see the video)!!!

Yes, four of the six dogs took off.

One might say that I stumbled out of the gate, but that isn’t entirely true. Instead (as Jerry Seinfeld once said), I proclaimed … “I CHOOSE NOT TO RUN!”

That’s when Dad not-so-gently nudged my hind quarters out into the arena of dreams. With the lead pack already enjoying lunch at a nearby eatery, I chose to run (again, visit the website if you cannot see the video).

On a sunny day in mid-March, I ran ten meters with almost as much enthusiasm as Usain Bolt runs a hundred meters. Both Usain and I received the unrelenting admiration of a large audience, however. We both know exactly what it feels like to compete in the arena of dreams.

Unlike Usain Bolt, I needed assistance to cross the finish line. Dad eventually ran out onto the course … and we both sprinted across the finish line where Mom waited with video camera and unconditional approval.

Usain Bolt wins gold medals … many, many gold medals. My athletic endeavors resulted in a hard-earned participation ribbon.

One doesn’t need gold to be labeled a winner. Today, all pups were winners – thanks to your kindness!