Hello. It’s me.
That’s the “after” photo. Long, long after … THE TERROR.
First, something burns in the oven.
And when something burns in the oven, this little device talks to all of the other little devices across the house … they beep … they beep at a decibel level that causes me to experience … THE TERROR.
And when I experience THE TERROR … I curl up in the fetal position and I shake for approximately forty minutes. Forty minutes. Of shaking. Shivering. TERROR.
Now, I don’t care what Blue Apron has to say about cooking mushrooms … you don’t cook mushrooms in the oven for 23 minutes at 475 degrees … because when you do that, you invoke THE TERROR.
Let me be perfectly honest here.
I’m not a fan … of THE TERROR … at all.