Hello. It’s me.


That’s the “after” photo. Long, long after … THE TERROR.

Lemme explain.

First, something burns in the oven.


And when something burns in the oven, this little device talks to all of the other little devices across the house … they beep … they beep at a decibel level that causes me to experience … THE TERROR.


And when I experience THE TERROR … I curl up in the fetal position and I shake for approximately forty minutes. Forty minutes. Of shaking. Shivering. TERROR.


Now, I don’t care what Blue Apron has to say about cooking mushrooms … you don’t cook mushrooms in the oven for 23 minutes at 475 degrees … because when you do that, you invoke THE TERROR.

Let me be perfectly honest here.

I’m not a fan … of THE TERROR … at all.

3 thoughts on “Terror

  1. You ‘n’ me both, Dash! The TERROR is the worst of all the horrible things I’ve experienced in my home too. And that’s the point… in my OWN home! How can that be? Homes are designed to be safe and comfortable, are they not? Is not that the definition of “home” – safe and comfortable, a shelter? Well than, how can we have the TERROR in our homes? And where can we go to get away from it… forever? AKKKKKKKKKK! Yep, shake and shiver is right. I get it. Forget mushrooms… yes, but what else could evoke the TERROR? I cringe to think of it.


  2. Lucky for me I haven’t experienced this yet. However, Cedar and her brother Fred (he lives in Maple Valley) have the same reaction. Mom is in constant alert mode, because the CO2 sniffers make the same noise when the batteries get low. Hang tough and make them buy you a new toy.

    Love you brother,


  3. Soooo sorry for what those mushrooms did to you Dash. However, knowing Chef Kevin as we do, you might get terrorized again from time to time. SOME of us humans actually detest mushrooms so it wouldn’t ever happen on our watch. Peace out.


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