Hello! It’s me.

Mom and Dad packed the RV, which I though was an odd behavior since I really enjoy living in our home and why change a good thing, right?

A few hours later, we are thundering down I-5, heading toward Seattle.

Seattle yielded to Snoqualmie Pass.

And Snoqualmie Pass yielded to Ellensburg, and Yakima, and the Tri-Cities, and then the Oregon border, at the Columbia River.

See that on the windshield? That’s what 37 degrees and perpetual rain looks like … even in the deserts of Eastern Washington and Eastern Oregon.

The big thing about RV travel, as I see it, is getting comfortable. You have to find that sweet spot where your under-developed ribs can absorb a dizzying array of potholes at 73mph.

The other big thing about RV travel is eating. You cannot, I repeat, cannot ever forget to partake in a good sup. Dad brought me a tiny morsel from lunch. He read something on the internet about if you are going to leave your pet in a car unattended while you eat lunch, then you must bring a treat back, because dogs are pack animals who believe that the pack left to go hunting and will faithfully deliver the spoils of the hunt upon return. In this case, Dad apparently hunted down a greasy cheeseburger. What weapon do you use to hunt down a greasy cheeseburger? A spatula?

I learned that it is not the end of the world to spend ten hours in an RV. I passed my test with flying colors!

But then the big surprise of the day happened. My first hotel stay … at the Oxford Suites in Pendleton, OR. According to BringFido.com, this is a five bone establishment … and I’ll be honest, I didn’t have a bone to pick with the place either … initially. They supply you with your own water bowl and a pair of zippy dog treats. I quickly learned how to lead Dad from outside to our room (#memory).

But then, I started to wonder aloud … does this mean we abandoned our home? The fear began to work on my high-functioning brain. It was time to cause some trouble.

Can we go now?

Can we go now?

Can we GO now?

Can we go NOW?

Can WE go now?

CAN WE GO NOW???? Mom. Mum. Mummy. Mum. Mom. Dad? Somebody? Can we go now?

Mom and Dad were unrelenting in their steadfast support of a hotel that served two free drinks, a free salad and soup bar, and morning breakfast.#thefinerthingsinlife>dash.

I took out my frustration on this wonderful shirt that my Grandma sent me #noharmnofaul #iamappreciativeofmygifts #iamsorrygrandma.

You are darn right I was a hot dog … hot as in angry! Exhibiting behaviors reserved for only the most undeserving of owners, I embarked on a ninety minute tirade designed to get us to go home, a place where I am fully comfortable in my own settings. I mean, this hotel clearly overcompensates for the fact that they don’t have a fireplace by serving free drinks.

I miss my fireplace.

And then?

Then I gave up and slept. I mean, why fight it?

Mom and Dad can apologize tomorrow by serving me some of their free breakfast.