Have I mentioned that I am really fast?

I mean, that’s ridiculous, unfettered, unbridled speed – all caught on camera. That’s what I do every time I come in from performing my duties. It’s my little way of greeting the world.

There are other ways to greet the world – one could waltz around the house with fuzz appended to your face.

But that’s not the big story of the day. No. Not by a long shot.

What I am about to explain to you is a simple yet entertaining story of gravity, chemistry, and physics.

See, yesterday, I barrel rolled my way to a new “potty perfection” record … more than twenty-four continuous hours without pottying in the house. I know, that’s impressive!

Then Dad gets greedy. At about 6:00pm yesterday, without any conceivable ability to recognize a pending crisis, Dad utters this sentence.

• “Dash drank more water today than in the five prior days he has been with us … combined. What’s up with that?“

Well, any bumbletwit who has ever spent time with a puppy knows that you regulate fluid intake. It’s just common sense.

About an hour later, Dad utters this sentence.

• “Dash is whining. Why is he whining? I just took him out fifty minutes ago.“

Thirty seconds later, gravity and chemistry and physics took over. My record, my “personal best” to use the parlance of the day, had been established.

Let’s fast forward another fifty minutes into the future. Once again, it was Dad who offered prescient commentary:

• “Dash is pacing back and forth. Why is he doing that? Is he going to go potty again?“

The answer … YES!

Somewhere in the neighborhood of eleven gallons of ice cold water flowed through my body … most of it inappropriately dispensed into my play pen. Like an ancient Roman fountain, my cup overfloweth last night.