Hello! It’s mmmmmmeeeeeeeee!
See that? That’s artificial turf. The kind of stuff the big pups play on. I wanted some. So I had a talk with Dad. The talk went something like this:
Dash: I want artificial turf.
Dad: Why?
Dash: Football teams play on artificial turf. I want to play on artificial turf.
Dad: Alright.
Dash: Seriously. You can roll on it. You can potty on it. You can putt a golf ball on it.
Dad: Uh huh.
Dash: Here’s what I’d like to see. I’d like to roll on artificial turf in winter in 70 degree temperatures. Can I have that?
Dad: You’d have to get a second home in Arizona if you wanted to do that.
Dash: That’s the spirit!
Dad: No.
Dash: If we had a second home in Arizona, we could have fun in the summer up north and we could have fun in the winter on artificial turf.
Dad: You want me to buy you a second home just so you can roll on artificial turf in February in sunny 70 degree conditions?
Dash: That’s the spirit!
Dad: Do you know how much a new home costs?
Dash: Yup.
Dad: How much does a new home cost?
Dash: Eleven dollars.
Dad: Hmmmm.
Dash: It’s a tempting thought.
Dad: We’d have to buy a house that was furnished. We don’t have enough furniture to fill a second home.
Dash: Offer ’em twelve dollars.
Dad: Ok.
Dash: And make sure the new house has artificial turf.
Dad: Ok.
Dash: And make sure there is a dog park within walking distance of the new home.
Dad: Anything else?
Dash: Don’t get rid of my other house. I want both of ’em.
Dad: I’ll see what I can do.
Dash: And try to make sure there’s a hot dog stand within walking distance of the new home.
Dad: A hot dog stand?
Dash: One that is Chupacabra free.
Dad: I’ll see what I can do.
Dash: Outstanding.
Well, it’s three weeks later, and Dad got me a second home in Arizona.
Yes, that’s me rolling on artificial turf in my front yard. Mom & Dad got us a winter house outside of Phoenix to complement what will be our summer house up north.
My back yard has artificial turf, offering some serious rollability, #amirite?
Dad says we’ll stay here until it gets too hot, then we’ll head north for summer, putting me in perpetual warm weather mode.
And yes, there’s a dog park and a hot dog stand within walking distance of my new lawn with artificial turf. Fully furnished home, too. The pup who used to live in the home took good care of it.
That’s my big news, pups. For my next act, I’d like to purchase an airplane. Dad, what say you?
For the next three or four months, updates will come from Hacienda Sur.
Dash the Dachshund 
That’s just the ticket Dash! Can ngratulaions on wrapping Dad around you elegant paw! It can almost smell the warm breezes from here….but your Northern finds miss you all!
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Really, you can potty on artificial turf? I had no idea.
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Dash here – watch a Seahawks game – they play on artificial turf and when it rains, the water just drains through the turf. Similar patterns apply to my urinary activity.
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Hooooooooray! You did a fantastic job convincing your Dad… and he (and your mom) did a fantastic job of finding something that works for you, even found one furnished, and only $1 more. That’s great! OK, now, here’s an important question for you, Dash… Remember me? I’m the one you love to see when you come to quilting or textile events… Well, now that you remember, what do you think of showing me around your new digs one of these days? I would reallllllly love to see you roll on the artificial turf. Oh, and by the way, what is the answer to Anita’s question?
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Congrats Dash on your new “winter” home! You’re one lucky dog – enjoy your artificial turf. We’ll see you in a few months. Til then – don’t forget your “summer” home friends. Enjoy!!!!!
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Congrats! But don’t stay too long, we miss you!
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Yo Dash,
Congrats on the “Dry Heat” abode. However, just remember what the last Oscar Meyer treat did to your internal “tract”. #amirite. Better to keep your distance from that portable Wienermobile or else something akin to Montezuma’s revenge may be staining that backyard astro-turf.
See you this afternoon when you come to visit our gravel back yard. Sorry, nothing green to roll around on 😦
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Congratulations! Are you still in Pebble Creek? The house looks beautiful. Hope to see you while we’r down here.
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Wow little bro, you’re living the high life now. Asked mom about covering our 15 acres with that green stuff – she looked at me like I had 2 heads. Reminding her there would be no more hours and hours of mowing did no good. She says the house looks cool and she’s really glad she doesn’t have to clean all those amazing windows – whatever that means. BTW, stay away from those hotdogs – that’s too close to cannibalism, and also I heard they make you fat. Have a roll for me.
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Wow! A furnished house for $12–Your mom and dad are real negotiators!!!! What a life you will have. However–we quilters miss your mom and her good ideas and great attitude—so—don’t forget to come back here. I guess we miss your dad too–but I don’t know him very well.
As for hotdogs–stay away–you are supposed to be slimming down. By the way–no pictures yet of you in the golf cart.
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Welcome to Arizona!! Where is your new house located?
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