Hello. It’s me!
As you may already know, I am a finicky eater.
- I will not eat out of a bowl.
- I will not eat dog food #pedestrian.
- I only eat a tiny fraction of any dog treat, if I choose to eat it at all.
- In instances where I am starving, I make Dad’s life miserable instead of actually eating dog food out of a bowl.
- String Cheese is the go-to-choice, but I’m growing sick of that, too.
So for lunch, Dad decided to implement a test. What would I eat?
Would I eat SPAM (a registered trademark of the Spam Corporation, Austin, MN)?
Would I eat sunny-side up organic cage-free farm-fresh eggs?
Would I eat neither?
Would I eat both?
I know, the drama is killing you. And for those of you who are a slight bit lemonheaded and think that you’d just starve me and force me to eat my dog food out of a bowl, lemme tell you, I’d make your life miserable. Each of the past two mornings, Dad tried to do just that … and as a courteous way of thanking him, I threw up yellow/foamy bile on his new living room rug. I had body shakes prior to throwing up. Seriously. That’s how I get when I am starving to death and food is available and I refuse to eat it. This morning, body shakes once again. I was preparing to vomit all over the place for the third consecutive day when Dad got me to eat some ham. Then things were fine. Of course, you’re saying to yourself, “Well, Dash, you are a manipulative little critter, aren’t you?” I don’t view this as manipulation. I view this as adaptation. Both sides gently adapting to each other.
Where was I?
Oh, the quiz question.
I elected to eat THE EGGS!! I refused the SPAM (a registered trademark of the Spam Corporation, Austin, MN) after sampling a morsel or two. #notrealmeat
But the eggs!