Hello. It’s me!
To The Management Team At Best Western Hotels:
I just wanted to take a moment to apologize for my
destructive behavior this evening. I realize that you are promoting a “green environment”, one where you encourage your patrons to “protect the environment” and ask that your customers “conserve resources”. So my senseless destruction of precious toilet paper (a product harvested from renewable tree farms all across the Pacific Northwest, if I must nitpick here) runs counter to your entire corporate ethos.
On behalf of my family, I sincerely apologize for my
instinctive senseless behavior. Please let me stay for the three remaining nights that we my Parents paid for.