Hello! It’s me.

Sure, Mom and Dad repeatedly pointed out the boundless beauty of the State of Utah.

Bugs on the windshield … that’s good stuff!

I waited patiently for my big opportunity.

And then … amid 64 degree temperatures, 15% humidity, and 35mph winds deeply rooted in a Pineapple Express, my sightseeing opportunity unfolded in front of my own eyes.

Disneyworld. Arches National Park. Petco. Those are the big three, friends.

Petco is a magical establishment, one where the ferrets frolick behind glass, the zebra danios thrive in a climate controlled environment, and pups like me can buy treats, chewies, and assorted flea medications. Now, you are under no obligation to buy anything. But let’s be honest. Five minutes in this store, and you’re walking out with all sorts of unnecessary gluten free organic smoked treats.

Which brings me to my favorite sight-seeing prize of the day:

Tomorrow, our trip takes us to Arizona. In just four days, we will have traveled from within miles of the Canadian border to within miles of the Mexican border. That’s a lot of miles. And dead bugs. I offer my heartfelt thanks to the residents of Idaho and Utah for legislating on my behalf #80mphspeedlimitssavetimebutnotgas